Lost Hopes, Crimson Tears
by Saruwatari Akimi
Summary: Fifteen years on, a pregnant Sakura mourns the disappearance of her partner Syaoran Li. Determined to find him, she, Mei Ling and Tomoyo set out on a long journey, but will the birth of her baby get in the way of their plans? CHAPTER 4 IS FINALLY UP!
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, this is my CCS fanfic and yes, it isa bitdepressing, but don't worry, it gets better. I do not own CardcaptorSakura, CLAMP,blah-de-blah-de-blah, but Amélie and her sister (the characters in chapter 3) are my own characters, so don't steal them!.Please R&R, also please PM me if i have made incorrect usage of -san, -chan etc. Enjoy! (or not)_

**Lost Hopes, Crimson Tears**

**Chapter One**

Sakura Kinomoto sighed. The wind blew her once shiny brown hair about her shoulders as she stood before the huge shopping mall. It was here, fifteen years earlier, that she had attended middle school. Long ago the school had been knocked down and replaced. People jostled and pushed past her, not stopping to think of her plight. Her emerald-green eyes, their curiosity and sparkle long gone, filled with tears as she remembered all the friends she had had there. The only one she properly kept in contact with were Mei Ling and her best friend Tomoyo, though Yukito sometimes came to visit her big brother Toya. The smallest hint of a bump pushing over the waistband of her skirt, she patted her tummy, thinking of the tiny tadpole baby growing inside her. Syaoran Li, her partner and fiance-to-be had recently disappeared and she was filled with worry and angst, terrified of having to bring up a child by herself. She was twenty-five years old and had attended college but was still a little naive and felt lost without someone to guide her in this huge world. There was nowhere she felt safe any more - scared of small spaces, scared of wide open places with no walls, no boundaries. She had rented out the flat that she and Syaoran had lived in and gone to stay with Toya for a while. He wasn't too happy about this, having a very private life of his own, but he could not turn her away. At that moment the heavens opened. Sakura stood in the rain, looking up into the grey sky above Tomoeda. She stayed standing there for what seemed like eternity, herclothes sticking to her skin, her hair plastered to her head.

* * *

"Sakura, you klutz," Toya complained. Sakura had been out for two hours and had arrived back at his flat soaking wet, dripping all over the floor, a sadexpression on her face. She was standing shivering in the kitchen in her underwear with a towel round her shoulders while he stuffed her clothes into the washing machine."What were you doing standing out in the rain anyway?" 

"Um, nothing. Thinking, I guess," she said sadly.

Toya sighed. "I have Yukito coming round soon, so stay out of the way, will you, squirt?" he said, using the name he had done since Sakura was a young child. He noticed the look in his sister's eyes and gave her a hug. "Ring up one of your girly friends. It'll cheer you up." He handed her the phone and walked out of the room. She dialled Mei Ling's number obediently and silently hoped she wouldn't be in, but she was.

"Hello?" said Mei Ling's voice.

"Hi..." Sakura answered half-heartedly.

"Hihi Sakura-chan! What are you up to?" Mei Ling said cheerfully.

Sakura sighed. Other peoples' happiness just seemed to put her down further. "Not a lot, really. I'm feeling down..."

"Tell me."

"Since Syaoran disappeared I'm so lonely. I feel...lost. And with this stupid baby on the way I don't know what to do. I wish I had Syaoran back to look after me. Can you help me, Mei Ling?"

"I don't know. Why don't you put adverts in the paper, stick posters on streetlights, that kind of thing? At least then if somebody spots Li they can tell you or something. I can't help your mood though. Ooh, maybe I can. Want to come round for ice-cream?"

Sakura brightened up a little. "Okay then. See you later. Thankyou for your help, Mei Ling." She put down the phone.

"Toya?" she shouted.

"Yeah?" came a voice from another room.

"I'm going to Mei Ling's," Sakura announced."Be back soon. Say hi to Yukito for me."

"Sure. Bye, squirt."

Sakura's face showed a hint of a smile, then she walked out the door, humming a tune as she went.

* * *

A while later she arrived at Mei Ling's, leaning on the wall while waiting for her to answer the door. She chewed at the nail on her thumb. Suddenly the door opened. She keeled over, nearly falling inside. 

"Wahh! Sorry!" she said, standing up. Her cheeks flushed pink.

"It's okay. Come in," Mei Ling said.

Sakura walked down Mei Ling's hallway. It was painted red, decorated with elaborate wall hangings and paintings of Chinese dragons. There was a lamp with a tassel hanging from the ceiling. They walked into the kitchen and sat down at the round wooden table, where two bowls of strawberry ice-cream were laid out.

"So, Sakura...tell me more about your..." Mei Ling paused, searching for a word like a chatroom surfer. "...situation. Why do you think Syaoran disappeared?"

"I have no idea. He told me he was going to the superstore, but never came back...probably couldn't wait to get rid of me, not now I'm pregnant," Sakura said gloomily. She started to cry, silent yet sorrowful crying. Huge teardrops splashed onto the table. Mei Ling put her arm round her friend, pitying her. "It's okay, Sakura. We'll find him somehow, me and you and Tomoyo."


	2. Chapter 2

**Lost Hopes, Crimson Tears**

**Chapter Two**

Sakura and Mei Ling had agreed to meet up at the station the next day at 12, with Tomoyo, to discuss their plan. Her spirits lifted, Sakura walked home, whistling. She pressed Toya's doorbell about three hundred times. Nobody answered. _Perhaps he's gone out, _she thought, then noticed the car was still there. She rummaged in her handbag for the spare door key her brother had given her, and opened the door. The lounge door was shut. She opened it and then rubbed her eyes, not quite believing what she saw before her.

There, on Toya's expensive white leather sofa, were her brother and Yukito Tsukishiro, locked in an embrace, joined at the lips. "Toya, I..." she began, but her voice faltered. At that moment she could have slapped herself for not realising before. There were enough hints...Toya always wanting her to stay out of the way on Yukito's visits, his mysterious 2-hour trips to the "shopping mall"...Suddenly Yukito pulled away, said something to Toya and pointed to Sakura.. Toya's head jerked round.

"Wahh! Sakura!" he said, turning bright red. He stood up, blushing furiously. Sakura started to shut the door, a little afraid.

"Don't go, Sakura," Yukito said. She opened the door again.

Toya cleared his throat. "Yukito and I are...are...we're..." he stuttered, not knowing which word to say. "Gay" sounded so loud and flamboyant, "homosexual" snooty and degrading. Luckily Yukito finished his sentence for him.

"In love." That summed it up just fine. Love, nothing more.

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry you had to see that, Sakura, but don't tell anyone, will you? We don't really want other people to find out. I should have told you before," Toya explained.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone. Promise. I have a confession to make as well, anyway," she said timidly, hoping it was the right time.

"Well, go on, then."

"I'm pregnant."

"You're WHAT? With who!" Toya exclaimed, nearly falling over. Yukito looked calm as ever, strong and silent.

"Syaoran. I meant to tell you...I was just...scared," she murmured.

"Huh. That brat. Is it a boy or a girl? Are you going to keep it?" Toya questioned. Yukito stepped in.

"To-ya, let her get some rest first. She's feeling a little blue at the moment. I'd better be going now. See you later," Yukito said, without a trace of embarrasment or humility. He gave Sakura a hug and left.

"Toya, I don't mind who you want to spend your time with, as long as you love them."

"Thanks, squirt." He hugged her. "So when's squirt JR here going to arrive on the scene?" He poked Sakura's tummy.

"Four or five months," Sakura said proudly.

"Nice one, girl. Come visit Uncle Toya a lot," he laughed. Sakura giggled.

"I will."


	3. Chapter 3

_Warning: contains scary people, slight violence and a French girl with terrible dress sense!_

**Chapter Three**

Li woke with a start. It was dark, but a chink of light was coming through a hole somewhere. He tried to say something but there was a piece of tape over his mouth. His hands and feet were tied together. What the hell was going on! He seemed to be in some sort of bag. It was slightly open to give him some air. He rolled the bag onto its side and squinted out of the hole. He was in a small room filled with other bags and suitcases. He was in the luggage compartment of a plane! Where was it going? He tried to remember what had happened.

_Li walked down the street, whistling a tune. He was going to pick up some groceries for Sakura at around 9 pm. Suddenly three men in balaclavas jumped out of a bush at him and shoved him into the boot of a nearby red Mini. He tried to struggle, but one of them put a handkerchief soaked in some foul-smelling chemical across his face. Everything went black._

So that was what was going on. He must have been kidnapped and drugged. But why? While he was considering this, a mechanical voice spoke from somewhere above him. He could make out a few words:

_"...plane...arriving at...ten minutes...keep...seatbelts fastened...thankyou...flying...airlines," _it said. Ten minutes? Not long. But where was he going? There were so many questions. Now he knew how Sakura felt sometimes - defenceless and small without anyone to protect her.

Sakura.

How was she going to manage by herself? She was probably going mad! Li cursed himself for going out at night. The streets of Japan could be dangerous - you never knew who was lying in wait for you. Had his feet not been tied together, he would have kicked himself, but he decided to keep quiet. Less painful, and hopefully a little less dangerous.

* * *

After a while the plane came in to land. He felt the bag he was in being lifted and put onto one of those conveyor belts people collect their luggage from after a flight. Feeling a little sick, somebody finally picked up the bag and carried it out of the airport. When he was put down some place or another, he heard an engine starting. That meant he must be in a car. It drove for about half an hour, then the engine stopped and three doors slammed shut. Someone opened the boot and unzipped the bag. It was a huge, muscledman with tattoos all over his arms and very short spiky hair. He untied Li's hands and feet. 

"Get out of the car," the man instructed. His voice was deep and threatening. Li did as he was told. Two other men were standing nearby, one tall and skinny, the other pretty much average. They both had black balaclavas on. He guessed it was about six o' clock as the sun was beginning to set. Nobody seemed to be around. The skinny guy opened the door to a block of flats and walked inside. The two other men and Li followed. They got into a lift and went up to the sixth floor. It consisted of two rooms - one containing an old bed and a wooden chair, the other was a bathroom.

"Sit down," the third man said. Li sat in the chair while the skinny man tied him into it. He hated being tied up. The tape was removed from his mouth. He breathed deeply, having been deprived of a proper air supply for the last few hours.

"What do you want from me?" Li shouted. "I have nothing to give you!"

The muscled man smiled - a mean, thin smile. "Dude, we know who you are. Li Syaoran, rich business executive. We took you because wewant the combination to thesafe in your workplace. It contains money and important documents vital to us.Only you and a few other people (who would have been more difficult to kidnap) know it. Are you going to tell us, or are we going to need to use this?" He drew a large knife from his belt. The blade flashed in the evening light. Li gasped.

"I don't have to tell you anything," he said, a lot more bravely than he felt.

"Where shall we start?" the skinny man enquired. "A finger? Two?"

Li screamed. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you! The combination is..."

He stopped for a minute, unable to believe this was happening. Suddenly, he had a brainwave. Give them the wrong combination! "The combination is 4529," he lied, without a trace of hesitation.

"It better be," the third man said menacingly. The first man held his knife to Li's throat. "Because if we find out you've lied to us, you are in BIG trouble. Now go. And tell no-one of this."

Li rushed into the lift and pressed the ground-floor button. It was old and slow, but when he got to the bottom he ran out so fast he almost crashed into the wall. Luckily, the door was open. Without looking where he was going, he ran outside into the street and smashed straight into a statue.

_"Monsieur? Êtes-vous bien? Parler!"_said an anxious female voice. Li groaned and opened his eyes. His head hurt like hell. He was lying on the floor. There was a worried-looking woman of about 21 years kneeling over him, her very long brown hair escaping from its ponytail and tickling his face. She was wearing neon-pink lipstick and dangly silver earrings. Behind funky red rectangle glasses, frightened hazel eyes looked into his. Knowing very little French, he didn't reply. She withdrew and he sat up, rubbing his head.

"Do you speak English?" the woman said. Relieved she could speak one of the same languages as him, he answered her. "Yes. Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Amélie. I am here on 'oliday from la France," she said with a heavy accent. She held out a hand and he took it, pulling himself up. He did a double-take. This Amélie had a very strange idea of fashion. She was dressed in a blue poloneck with the sleeves rolled up, black Spandex shorts, green fishnet tights and silver strappy high heels. There were a few gold bangles on her arms and she had three different necklaces. "You look like you need some 'elp," she said worriedly. Li put a hand to his face. His eye was swelling up and he could taste blood in his mouth.

"'Ere, you can come back to ze place where I am staying at ze moment," she offered kindly. Li nodded gratefully. It was about a five minute walk to her place - a small house she was sharing with her sister. The said sister opened the door and blushed when she saw Li. Amélie was pretty in her own way, but this girl was beautiful. She had a delicate, heart-shaped face, big brown eyes and short, shiny brown hair. She was wearing a red kimono patterned with flowers and embroidered Chinese slippers.

"Come in," she said. Her voice was like a drop of dew rolling down a snowdrop petal, her smile like the sun on a cloudy day. Li stepped inside. Beautiful though she was, Sakura was the only girl for him. Amélie gabbled away in French with her sister for a while, leaving Li standing in the doorway kind of helplessly. A few minutes later Amélie stopped talking and approached Li.

"It is decided," she said, smiling. "You stay."

Li smiled back gratefully. "Thankyou, Amélie. Thankyou."


	4. Chapter 4

_Hiya, welcome to Chapter 4! Sorry it took so long, but this chapter was very difficult to write. If I spelt any Japanese words wrong, it's not my fault because I had to guess._

**Chapter 4**

Back in Tomoeda, Mei Ling, Sakura and Tomoyo were busy making plans to find Li. Sitting on a bench outside the station, Sakura did up an extra button on her coat. It was very cold for September. Tomoyo flicked through sheets of paper, looking for a certain one, and for some reason Mei Ling had sewn a very large Chinese dragon to one of her pockets.

"So...do you have any ideas?" Sakura wondered.

"Um...not really," Tomoyo said. "But I did some posters! Look!" She held one up. It displayed a picture of Li at a party drinking something brown out of the bottle."Perhaps I should have picked a less embarrassing snapshot for that," she giggled.

"Have you thought about contacting Li's mother?" Mei Ling suggested.

"I would do, but I don't know the address or phone number, and I think address books are against Syaoran's religion or something," Sakura sighed. "Perhaps we should go to Hong Kong and look for him there."

Mei Ling snapped her fingers. "Sakura, that's it! Hong Kong! Why didn't we think of that? Li did live there before, didn't he? Perhaps...for some reason, he had to go back for a while. Let's book some airline tickets."

"Mei Ling! I don't have that kind of money!" Sakura exlaimed. "It's all right for you two, since you have a pretty good job, but what about me? I'm on maternity leave."

"Don't worry, I can pay for you," Tomoyo suggested.

"_Aregato, _Tomoyo!" Sakura said, throwing her arms around her friend. Tomoyo blushed. "Really, it's no problem."

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Back at home, Sakura was busy messing about with Toya's computer, scrolling through endless airline booking sites.

"Sakura, tell me exactly why you want a flight to China?" Toya asked, peering over her shoulder.

"Toya, go away! I'm trying to concentrate," she complained, minimizing the easyJet website.

"Suit yourself. I'm going out, okay? I'll be back in an hour or two. See you."

"Bye," she called, but he had already left. She picked up the phone, pressed a few numbers, then waited. "Tomoyo? Tell Mei Ling I've got the tickets. Next Friday at three, we are going to Hong Kong."

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Meanwhile, Li wasn't having a fantastic time with Amélie and her sister Vanessa, who kept fluttering her eyelashes at him when she thought Amélie wasn't looking. He was finding it hard to sleep at night, yearning for Sakura. Frustratingly, the residence did not contain a computer with which to email her, and the phone line had been cut off. Stuck in a country too far from his beloved Sakura, with two total strangers, life was not getting any better. And Vanessa was now hinting heavily she would like to go to some dance with him. She drifted around draped in long dresses and kimonos, like a porcelain doll, and hardly ever went outside. Plus she could speak English perfectly without any trace of an accent, much to Amélie's surprise, who until that point had never heard her say a word in a different language.

"She is strange, mon soeur," she told him thoughtfully, over lunch that day. "No friends. She spends most of 'er time daydreaming. Our muzzer says she will get 'erself into a lot of trouble one day, with 'er head up in ze clouds. I think she is right."

Li frowned. There had to be some way out of this - and if there was, he had better find it quick.


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the wait! _

**Chapter Five**

"Where IS it? Oh come on, there must be one around here..."

Syaoran muttered to himself, throwing small objects around the room as he rummaged through a desk drawer. Not finding what he was looking for, he surveyed the room. The floor was now littered with hole-punches, dried up felt tips, boxes of staples and a tape measure. He started to clear it up.

"AMÉLIE!"

There was a faint "Yes?" from upstairs.

"Have you got a pen?"

"Who's Ben?" came the reply.

"I SAID PEN!"

A blue biro flew down the stairs of its own accord and landed at his feet. He raced back into the study and started scribbling frantically on a handy piece of paper, presumably stolen from somewhere called Yudoya Hotel. What he wrote could have fitted on a postcard.

_"Dear Sakura_

_I am safe and well. I don't know where I am. Hope you're all right. How is that brother of yours? I'll try and get back to Japan as soon as possible._

_Love, Syaoran"_

A small drop of water landed on the place where he'd signed his name, making the blue ink blur. He hurriedly folded the letter in half, stuffed it into a pre-licked envelope and scrawled the address on the front. Slamming the front door behind him, he rushed out into the square. There was a postbox on the corner. He dropped the letter in. It felt...it felt a little like sending a piece of your heart to someone. It hurt, but you knew when they got it they'd be overjoyed.

* * *

Two days later, when the white envelope plopped onto the doormat of Sakura and Syaoran's flat, she was sitting six miles up in the air, trying not to throw up all over her new shoes. 


End file.
